OK, So Here's The Deal...

A Marine Major, Running Fool, and All-Around Smart-Ass.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Atta GIRL!

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Life In My House

I love this.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I can't stop watching this. It's just so disturbing.

Like a direct view of my worst nightmare.

Monday, May 19, 2008

You Think You've Seen This But Watch Again

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Back When I Was Young in 1998....

He memed me.

Ben, that is.

Here are the rules:

A) The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
B) Each player answers the questions about himself or herself.
C) At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. Ten years ago I was:

- Only writing two blog entries

- Going through The Basic School without my family
- Going through Adjutant School without my family
- missing my 3 and 5 year old children
- not even contemplating running marathons
- only half way through a career as a Marine
- the same weight as today

2. Five things on today's to do list:

- go to church
- take mom and wife to lunch for Mother’s Day
- take a nap
- get ready for the week ahead
- (bonus) go to Borders and browse

3. Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:



4. Three bad habits:

- starting projects I don’t finis...
- spend hours on the computer blogging and surfing
- wake up late and have to rush
- (bonus) late night snacks

5. Five places I've lived:

- Oklahoma
- Seattle
- Tennessee
- South Carolina
- Arizona
- Saudi Arabia
- Virginia
- California
- More but I've already broken the rules enough ....

6. Six jobs I've had in my life:

- Marine
- Security guard for University of Washington’s Pavilion and Husky Stadium
- Busboy at Black Angus
- Paper route (Seattle Times)

Sorry, not tossing this along. Only back to Ben.

True Sportsmanship

Makes me proud to be from Washington.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Then and Now

I thought this was brilliant.

I love to see old and new pictures and I actually have pics like this I did with my pictures:

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Still Laughing After 100th Viewing

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Lion Love

I thought this was really cool...

The first attachment is a still photo. The second attachment is a video. There's no sound, but look at the picture first and then watch the video. These 2 guys reared this lion from a baby in England but the authorities would not allow them to keep it once it reached maturity so they were forced to give it up, they took it back to Africa and placed it in a wildlife sanctuary, a year later they went to see it and were told it would not remember them.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Could Not Stop Laughing

Saturday, February 16, 2008

One Wish

A Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and a Texan are all working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.

Osama was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come in our precious land."

POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The Texan says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall around the land."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."

The Texan sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and says, "Fill it with water."

Friday, February 08, 2008

More Drama

First there was this:

And now there's this:

Monday, January 28, 2008

Damn Unfortunate

Friday, January 18, 2008

Favorite Commercials As Of Late

This T-Mobile one makes me laugh like the kids at the table...

The best part of this one is the laugh/grunt of the passenger at the end...

This one keeps putting something in my eye... (and it has NOTHING to do with the little bob-top girl!)

Then, of course...

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Dorky Shark: Insanely funny

Quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen.

What is almost as funny is the comments on YouTube. Here is a sample:
  1. lol why the hell is this so funny? i never laugh at anything on tv, then this trailer shows up and i cant stop laughing. and of course i had to find this as soon as the commercial was over. hahaha
  2. hahahahhaha seriously, best trailer for a movie ever. that alone made me laugh so hard.
  3. lmfao at first i felt like such a retard cuz i saw the trailer and HAAD to favorite it..but now i see im not alone!
  4. i wish everyone could hear the way i just laughed. it sounded like a donkey having a heart attack.
  5. I'm so glad I'm not the only person who had to f'king find this immediately after seeing the trailer. I laughed/am laughing so hard I think I might puke.
  6. Glad to see it's not just me. This damn trailer almost sent me to the hospital
  7. This f'ing commercial gets me every single time. I can't stop laughing when I see it.
  8. i just fell out of seat...this is the funniest thing ive ever seen...and i am no doubt seeing this movie...just to piss myself in the theatre when this part comes on.
  9. lol ive watched tihs like 50 times and it never gets old
  10. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. I gotta stop watching it or it will kill me.
  11. Why the hell did I laugh? :s
  12. 4 guys, lot's of bong hits, 15 minute laughing steak :)
  13. I passed out from laughter quite painful lol.
  14. me andd mi friend are here on the floor in tears were laughing so hard
  15. It's the best the 4th time they show it and the guy's laughter goes up an octave
  16. i want to die from laughing
  17. RHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! this is the funniest think ive ever seen!! im at work watching this and everyone thinks im some psycho from laughing about it so much :P
  18. That is the funniest shark scene I had ever seen. I nearly wet myself laughing.
  19. Problem is my friend laughs like that.... "Doahhhh Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho, DOAHHHH!"
  20. the rest of the trailer (and probably the entire movie) serves only to detract from this piece of true brilliance
  21. THats record breaking funny!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Somewhat Disturbing but Enthralling

Monday, December 31, 2007

Carry On My Wayward Daughter

Holy Mackinolies, this was just unearthly.

My favorite YouTube commnet:

"Dude, that was the sickest shit EVER!!!! Dude, the whole entire crowd should be shot in the kneecaps with a sniper rifle for that bullshit excuse for an applause. On a scale from 1-10, that would be a bajillion."

I agree, the applause t the end was disproportional to the performance. WTF?

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Life at TBS


They disabled embedding so you will just have to go the link

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Pet Rules

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3. Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college.

And finally,

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Guess who this is.

I was shocked.

Comment your guess and the first one to guess....is the first one to guess.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Happy Birthday Marines!

On Nov. 10, the Marine Corps turns 232 years old. Ever since it was formed in a Philadelphia bar in 1775, the Corps has given Marines countless reasons to take pride in the heritage of their organization.

There is no shortage of instances in which Marine units and individuals have distinguished themselves in battle, but the bragging rights earned over the past 232 years weren't all born on the battlefield.

The Corps' culture sets it apart from other branches of the military in ways that those who have never earned the eagle, globe and anchor find difficult to fully understand. But what is obvious to even the most casual observer is that Marines distinguish themselves through their unique appearance, spirit and accomplishments.

To know the Corps is to love the Corps, which is why Marine Corps Times compiled the following list of 232 reasons to stand proudly at this year's birthday ball.

1. Cpl. Jason Dunham. First Marine to receive the Medal of Honor since Vietnam. If jumping on a grenade to save a buddy isn't worth the top of the list, nothing is.

2. Civilians have to find time to go to the gym. Marines get paid to go.

3. The National Museum of the Marine Corps. It's like a Smithsonian of leatherneck.

4. There's no such thing as an "ex" Marine.

5. Re-enlistment rates are higher IN the war zone.

6. Stink-proof socks. Well, almost. Systems Command is working on them.

7. Jalapeño cheese.

8. "Every Marine Into the Fight."

9. Lump-sum re-enlistment bonuses up to $80,000. Many of you would consider doing it for free.

10. New uniforms #1. Pixel-pattern cammies? Yeah, the Corps came up with that.

11. "Doc."

12. Flexed arm hang is harder than it looks. We tried it.

13. Barracks parties on non-payday weekends.

14. Marine Gunners.

15. The Wounded Warrior Regiment.

16. MarAdmin 266/07: Letting 18-year-old Marines drink on base at this year's birthday ball.

17. No receipt necessary for travel claim expenses less than $75.

18. The lance corporal underground.

19. Fallujah II.

21. Archibald Henderson's couch, re-upholstered, is still in the commandant's living room.

22. "No better friend, no worse enemy."

23. Typhoons approaching Okinawa often spark islandwide beer runs.

24. Waivers.

25. Gen. James Jones, who followed his tour as commandant with appointment as "supreme intergalactic overlord" (OK, it was Supreme Allied Commander, Europe, but close).

26. 10 rounds from the 500-yard line.

27. Per diem.

28. To civilians, every Marine is recon.

29. Recruiting in Texas is like hunting at the zoo.

30. The "boat cloak." Because every super hero needs a cape.

31. You can re-enlist in the IRR.

32. The wallet in your sock.

33. Motivating television commercials.

34. The "horse shoe" haircut, gone but not forgotten.

35. The global address list. Find your buddies and send them links to Marine Corps Times.

36. Running cadences that mention napalm. And Eskimos.

37. Stories that begin with, "So there I was ..."

38. Modified parade rest.

39. The transformation. Who you are when you join is not nearly as important as who you become.

40. Lt. Gen. Jim Mattis getting a fourth star.

41. If you've been on liberty in Twentynine Palms, you've been on liberty in Yuma and Barstow, too.

42. Grooming standards. Not only can you not act like a thug, you cannot look like a thug.

43. It's not the Army.

44. Women in Manhattan have all seen the Fleet Week episode of "Sex and the City."

45. Combat shotguns.

46. Combat Action Ribbons. IEDs count now, and should have counted all along. Duh.

47. The occasional free beer. Wear your blues into a bar and see what happens.

48. After decades of debate, there remains no resolution on whether sand fleas trump "The Reaper."

49. The Corps' doesn't call its officers, commissioned or not, "petty."

50. Cpl. Gareth Hawkins, lying on a stretcher after an IED shattered his leg, demanded re-enlistment before medical evacuation. And got it.

51. Whereas Army, Navy and Air Force jokes are funny, Marine jokes are potentially dangerous.

52. The occasional friendly debate. Refer to a Marine staff noncommissioned officer simply as "sergeant," and see what happens.

53. That troublesome "10 percent," making good Marines look great since 1775.

54. Everyone at a high school reunion is obliged to justify his last 10 years, except the guy wearing alphas.

55. As if ranks that include the words "master" and "gunnery" aren't intimidating enough on their own, the Corps uses them both. At once.

56. Soldiers have Hooah Bars. Marines have Ka-Bars. The second will generally get you the first.

57. The dress code. You can wear your cammies to meet the commandant or repair a tank.

58. From "Aliens" to "Doom," the future vision of warfare almost always includes Space Marines.

59. The Corps was formed in a bar.

60. Marines predicted the WWII campaigns in the Pacific years earlier and prepared for the inevitable. So when a Marine says, "Hey, I've been thinking ." perhaps you should take notes.

61. Give a Marine some free time, and he'll rip down your dictator's statue.

62. If it ain't raining, we ain't training.

64. Duty station garden spots: Jacksonville, N.C.; Yuma, Ariz.; Bridgeport, Calif.; Twentynine Palms, Calif. (Yes, we're kidding.)

65. Making morning PT on time.

66. Recruiters who promise everything EXCEPT a rose garden.

67. Mustangs #1. It's easier to take crap from a CO who went to boot camp.

69. Gen. Peter Pace, the first Marine chairman of the Joint Chiefs. He left his four-star insignia with his fallen comrades at the Vietnam Wall when he retired. Nice move.

70. The people zapper. Using microwave energy to disperse a crowd sounds like fun. Semper fry, gunny.

71. Nothing says "Good morning" like a mouthful of Copenhagen and freeze-dried coffee.

72. Nothing says "I love you" like a welcome home sheet hanging on a chain-link fence.

73. Bill Barnes. In June, the former Marine beat the crap out of a 27-year-old pickpocket who tried to make off with his dough. Oh yeah, he's 72.

74. Leftwich Trophy. Heisman winners only think they know about leaving it all on the field.

75. EOD. If you don't know why this is on the list, defuse the next IED yourself.

76. Tax-free combat pay. Doing what you signed up for and not having to give Uncle Sam a dime back.

77. Montford Point Marines. The first African-American Marines know a little something about honor, courage and commitment.

78. Front toward enemy. It's not just a visual reference on a Claymore mine, it's a Marine Corps way of life.

79. Mustangs #2. You know at least three Marines who drive them. It's like a Ford dealership exploded on base.

80. Fred Smith, founder of FedEx. Only a former Marine could truly appreciate the value of getting your mail on time.

81. CMC: The tallest member of the Joints Chiefs. OK, so we haven't actually measured, but he looks the tallest anyway.

82. No more spit shining boots.

83. Chuck Norris was in the Air Force. Steve McQueen was a Marine.

84. The Crucible.

85. 1/9, 2/9 and 3/9. Welcome back, fellas.

86. The FROG uniform. You are now sweat-wickin' AND flame-lickin'.

88. The M4. More rifles in the fight is generally a win-win.

89. MRAPs. Trucks straight out of Mad Max. We still love a good Humvee, but we loved jeeps, too. Things change.

90. Arty guys who do civil affairs. They blow it up, then they fix it.
Circle of life.

91. Service Charlies. They look so good, the Navy's copying 'em.

92. Fake Marines. No one eats 'em up faster than real Marines.

93. John Lovell. A 71-year-old former Marine is sitting in a Subway restaurant when two armed men try to rob the place. Lovell grabs his .45, kills one and wounds the other. No word on how Lovell's sandwich fared.

94. 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines. Six Navy Crosses so far. Six.

95. Staff Sgt. Lawrence Dean II, aka the "BadAss Marine." He recites a poem.
He gets uploaded to YouTube. Thousands get motivated.

96. Gen. James Conway takes over as the new commandant. Among his demands: a new PT uniform, new tattoo regs, a plan to add dress blues to the seabag, a change-up in medals and 22,000 more Marines. Someone's been thinking about taking over for a while, huh?

97. Body-fat standards. Everyone hates them, until they see a fat Marine.

98. "Jarhead." Only a former Marine could write a war story about not fighting anyone and make it last for 200 pages, then get Jamie Foxx to star in the movie.

99. The Stumps. The Rock. The Sandbox. Oh, the places you'll serve.

101. Tattoos #2. Getting a fallen friend's name tattooed on your other forearm, and knowing the same.

102. The new PT running suit. Sure, the Army had them first, but the Army gets most things first.

103. Marine expeditionary units: The cheapest cruise you'll ever take.

104. Camp Lejeune: The closest interstate and the nearest good shopping mall are both at least an hour away.

105. Camp Pendleton: There are roads and malls, but try affording a house near the main gate.

106. Tattoos #3. Meat tags. Getting your blood type and other info inked on your ribcage isn't necessarily a bad idea.

107. The Marine Corps is getting bigger. The Navy is getting smaller.

109. 30 days' paid vacation, plus federal holidays off, is obscene by civilian standards.

110. Maj. Gen. Marion E. Carl, the Corps' first fighter ace. First Marine to fly a helicopter. Two Navy Crosses, five Distinguished Flying Crosses, 14 air medals. In 1998, the 82-year-old was killed during a home break-in when he jumped in front of a shotgun blast aimed at his longtime wife, Edna.

111. Tattoos #4. Reaction to the new policy: Conway says sleeves are going away, Marines run for the chair. Tattoo parlors never saw so much business.

113. Guaranteed pay raises.

114. Marine Security Guard #1. Duty in the Bahamas.

115. Having a WWII Marine say he's proud of you

116. Drew Carey used to be in the Marine Corps Reserve. Now, he's the host of "The Price is Right."

117. Combatant diver pins. No more of that Navy crap.

118. A Red Stripe is a beer, mon. A Blood Stripe is a symbol of pride.

119. NMCI, if only they would remove the "MC."

120. You watched "300," and it reminded you of your unit.

121. The "Det One" .45 pistol. Designed by Marines, for Marines.

122. Combat marksmanship. You are creeping death. And you get graded on it.

123. Never lost six nukes on a plane.

124. CamelBaks. Water tastes like water again.

125. Give a Marine enough free time, and he'll marry your Bahraini princess.

126. Go to YouTube. Type in "bored Marines." Enjoy.

127. When the president gets on a helicopter, it's not called "Army One."

128. The opposite of the Peace Corps.

129. Camouflage. You can camouflage anything and make it cool.

130. No Fear #1. Marines aren't scared of anything. Except apricots. And Charms.

131. Combat optics on M16s. Leave the iron sights, just in case.

132. "Combat loss" amnesty for missing gear. It's like pleading the fifth.

133. Riding a chartered Continental Airlines flight home from the war zone with assault weapons stuffed in all the overhead compartments.

134. In combat, the division band becomes a heavy-machine-gun platoon.

135. What do headaches, broken bones, infectious diseases, missing limbs and hurt feelings all have in common? Motrin. Thanks, Doc.

137. Global instability equals job security.

138. When NMCI goes down, and it will, it's like having the day off.

139. The honor, privilege and responsibility of leading, mentoring and caring for junior Marines.

140. Gunnery sergeants. Don't know the answer? Ask the gunny. Need something? Ask the gunny. In trouble? Avoid the gunny.

141. Because gunny said so.

142. The line to get "tazed" at a military gear expo. Marines will do anything for a free T-shirt.

143. Deployment reunions. Like reliving your wedding night. Sweet!

144. Gig lines. Even in khakis and a polo shirt.

145. Eight-point covers. Even the uniform stands at attention.

146. Marine Security Guards #2. They're not cute and cuddly, but when they greet you at the door, it's like getting a great big hug from the United States of America, no matter where you are.

147. The Mameluke sword. Distinctive.

148. The NCO sword. Earned, never given.

149. The World Famous Mud Run. Thousands of people pay good money to run through 10 clicks of muck every year at Camp Pendleton.

150. John Philip Sousa. A Marine, the nation's March King and composer of "The Stars and Stripes Forever." Ooh-rah.

151. MRE crackers. Hard as Milk Bones but much tastier. You can almost feel your teeth getting cleaner as you eat 'em.

152. Jane Wayne Day. She'll never ask about work again.

153. Shirt stays. Or garters. Whatever you call them, they're a triple whammy, keeping your shirt tucked, your socks up and removing all that unwanted leg hair.

154. The slogans: "The Few, The Proud, The Marines." "We're Looking For a Few Good Men," "Once a Marine, always a Marine," "Tell that to the Marines."
If they could only purchase the rights to Hallmark's "When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best."

155. Speaking of slogans, "The Few, The Proud, The Marines" beat out such notables as Nike's "Just Do It" and Burger King's "Have It Your Way" for a
2007 spot on the advertising Walk of Fame. Better luck next year, losers.

157. Real duty station garden spots you can go an entire career without being assigned to: Southern California; Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii; Okinawa, Japan.

158. Rear-party Marines. God bless them. Whatever reason they stay behind - injury, impending retirement or being volun-told - they are indispensable.
They deserve medals for what they have to deal with while a unit is deployed.

159. While field-grade officers are at the company office, company-grade officers are in the field.

160. Colonels who can take a joke.

161. Free flu shots. And smallpox shots and anthrax shots .

162. Former Sgt. Chris Everhart. While camping with his three sons in June 2007, a bear snatched their cooler and made a play for his 6-year-old.
Everhart threw an 18-inch log at the bear's head, cracking its skull before it could attack and killing it instantly. Then, the park ranger gave him a ticket for leaving the cooler where the bear could get it.

163. Standards. The Corps doesn't lower the bar when recruiting gets tough.

164. Jim Nabors. "Gomer Pyle" becomes an honorary Marine in 2001 and makes lance corporal. It takes him six years to pin on corporal. Talk about art imitating life.

165. Vincent D'Onofrio. The other "Private Pyle" is doing pretty well on "Law and Order: Criminal Intent." He's still weird, though.

166. If you ambush Capt. Brian Chontosh's boys, he's going to take off his Navy Cross and kill you. Then, he's going to pick up your rifle and kill your buddies. Then, he's going to pick up your buddy's rifle and kill your buddy's buddies. Then, he's going to pick up a rocket-propelled grenade launcher .

167. Speaking of the Navy Cross, a combat award second only to the Medal of Honor, Marines have earned 15 so far in Iraq, plus one in Afghanistan. Of the six awarded to sailors for those combat zones, five went to SEALs, and one went to a corpsman who exposed himself repeatedly to enemy fire to evacuate and treat wounded Marines. Along with Chontosh, the other recipients include:

168. Gunnery Sgt. Justin D. Lehew.

169. Lance Cpl. Joseph B. Perez.

170. Sgt. Scott C. Montoya.

171. Cpl. Marco A. Martinez.

172. Sgt. Willie L. Copeland.

173. Capt. Brent Morel (posthumous).

174. Sgt. Anthony L. Viggiani.

175. 1st Sgt. Bradley A. Kasal.

176. Cpl. Robert J. Mitchell.

177. Cpl. Dominic Esquibel.

178. Sgt. Jarrett A. Kraft.

179. Cpl. Jeremiah W. Workman.

180. Cpl. Todd Corbin.

181. Sgt. Aubrey L. McDade Jr.

182. Pfc. Christopher Adlesperger (posthumous).

183. Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Louis E. Fonseca.

184. Iwo JIMA. Japan might have changed the name to Iwo To, but that doesn't mean you have to acknowledge it.

185. Col. John Ripley. Received the Navy Cross for the destruction of the Dong Ha bridge in Vietnam. The Corps takes care of its own. In 2002, with Ripley near death, doctors finally found a donated liver for his much-needed transplant. So the Marine Corps sent helicopters and Marines to Philadelphia to retrieve it, and they personally rushed it back to Washington in time to save his life.

186. Marine Corps Times isn't a version of Navy Times anymore. How many careers get their own newspaper?

188. Gatorade bottles wrapped in green, 100 mph tape so as not to offend the sailors in the room.

189. Camaraderie. Marines will hook you up with their sisters, then punch you in the mouth for doing what they knew would happen the whole time.

190. Ingenuity. MRE bombs, 101 uses for cleaning rods and iPods wired into field radio speakers.

191. Getting off the ship.

192. Getting back on the ship.

193. No beach? No problem. Marines inserted 400 miles into landlocked Afghanistan and created Camp Rhino using CH-53 Sea Stallions. Imagine what you can invade with the Osprey.

194. Cases and cases of bottled water mean never having to stand behind a water bull.

195. Race as a nonissue. It wasn't always the case, but three black sergeants major of the Marine Corps in a row show that the Corps has only one color: green.

196. Every day in the Corps is another reason to celebrate. That's why they call them working "parties."

197. Riddick Bowe had what it took to be boxing's undisputed heavyweight champ. He did not have what it took to be a Marine.

198. The U.S. Army Band is called "Pershing's Own." The U.S. Marine Corps Band is called "The President's Own."

199. "8th and I." Ten bucks says you have no idea where the Army chief of staff lives. Commandants don't hide.

200. MRE "rat boxes." How grunts trick-or-treat.

201. The poncho liner. It's a blanket, it's a tent, it's a keeper.

202. Combat fit-reps. People say they're equal to regular fit-reps. People lie.

203. The "E-tool lean." Sailors don't know how good they have it.

204. Navy Lt. Vincent Capodanno, Medal of Honor recipient. If Marines have a hot line to heaven, Father Capodanno - aka the Grunt Padre - would take the call. His body peppered by shrapnel, his right hand nearly severed, the Navy chaplain and priest crisscrossed a Vietnam battlefield Sept. 4, 1967, to render last rites to his fallen Marines and corpsmen with 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines, until 27 rounds from an enemy machine gun took his life. Last year, the Vatican declared him a "servant of God." Next step, sainthood?

206. Amphibious warfare means always being near the beach.

207. No Fear #2. Talk about the AV-8B Harrier's troubled past all you like, but brave jump jet pilots are flying missions in Iraq.

208. New Uniforms #2. Wash-and-wear combat uniforms mean no more starch, no more dry cleaning.

209. Marine air-ground task force. Nothing like controlling the air and the ground.

210. Slapping an eagle, globe and anchor on the back of your car and knowing it'll get you out of at least one speeding ticket.

211. The Navy wants to put Marines back on warships. It seems that Tomahawk cruise missiles can't do everything.

212. Liberty in Thailand.

213. Liberty in Australia.

214. Liberty, well, anywhere.

215. The Navy's mascot is a goat. The Corps' mascot is a bulldog. You don't need Michael Vick to tell you who wins that fight.

216. If you need another occupying land force, you can use the Marine Corps.
If you need another rapidly deployable, sea-based, front-door-kicking, air-ground team, you can't use the Army.

217. 1775 Rum Punch. Four parts dark rum, two parts lime juice, one part pure maple syrup, grenadine to taste.

218. "It's fun to shoot some people," said Lt. Gen. Jim Mattis. He says what he thinks.

219. The Beirut Memorial Wall. If you ever forget what you're fighting for, pay a visit.

221. "Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinburg?
I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to." Jack Nicholson, "A Few Good Men."

222. Maj. Meghan McClung, Marine public affairs officer, killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq while escorting media. The PAO is more than just a spokesman.

223. Sgt. Rafael Peralta. Like Dunham, he hugged a grenade to save his buddies in Iraq. No Medal of Honor . yet.

224. Hearing an accidental discharge into the clearing barrel, then waiting for the lieutenant to walk inside.

225. Call signs like "Spider" and "Assassin," and these guys were generals.

227. Buttered noodles for breakfast.

228. "Every Marine should look like a Marine. But a Marine looks like a Marine when he's got a bayonet stuck in the enemy's chest." Gen. Robert Magnus, assistant commandant, discussing body-fat standards.

229. "Infantry" is the easiest job for recruiters to sell.

230. Being the youngest Marine at the ball.

231. Being the oldest Marine at the ball.

232. Marine Corps Times appreciates all you do. Happy birthday, Marines!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

I'm Such A Sucker

Got this in an email the other day and then got something in my eye...

This is one of the kindest things I've ever experienced. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a kind soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her. You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith.

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office.

A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, "To Meredith" in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, "When a Pet Dies." Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.

Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.

By the way, I am wherever there is love.

Love, God

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Come Sit On the Sorting Lap, Young Potter

A great rant about Dumbldork being gay (lifted from another blogger):

"Yeah, Dumbledore came out of the closet...or was it a cubbard beneath a staircase that young Mr. Potter lived in for so much of his childhood years...

How distasteful, really. I think Rowling, with all of her continued revelations about what happens to all the characters at Ohgwarts, should just write another book titled- So you wanted to know- and leave it at that. I am waiting to hear that Snape molested Hermoine in the cauldron storage room...oh wait for it, it's coming."

Saturday, October 06, 2007

You Know You Can't Become If You Only Say What You Would Have Done

A great explanation of Len's If You Steal My Sunshine.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

How to Tell a Guy If His Fly is Open

Shamelessly stolen from Gallivanter

1. “The cucumber has left the salad.”

2. “Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.”

3. “Your soldier ain’t so unknown now.”

4. “Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.”

5. “Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!”

6. “Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.”

7. “You’ve got your fly set for Monica instead of Hillary.”

8. “You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantaloons.”

9. “I’m talking about Shaft, can you dig it?”

10. “Men are From Mars, women can see Your Penis.”

Saturday, July 28, 2007

How to Get Things Done

I found this article and found it completely interesting and something I do. Make sure to read my comments at the bottom for a surprise...


How to Get Things Done Robert Benchley

A great many people have come up to me and asked me how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated. Hundreds of thousands of people throughout the country are wondering how I have time to do all my painting, engineering, writing and philanthropic work when, according to the rotogravure sections and society notes, I spend all my time riding to hounds, going to fancy-dress balls disguised as Louis XIV, or spelling out GREETINGS TO CALIFORNIA in formation with three thousand Los Angeles school children. "All work and all play," they say.

The secret of my incredible energy and efficiency in getting work done is a simple one. I have based it very deliberately on a well-known psychological principle and have refined it so that it is now almost too refined. I shall have to begin coarsening it up again pretty soon.

The psychological principle is this: anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.

Let us see how this works out in practice. Let us say that I have five things which have to be done before the end of the week: (1) a basketful of letters to be answered, some of them dating from October, 1928 (2) some bookshelves to be put up and arranged with books (3) a hair-cut to get (4) a pile of scientific magazines to go through and clip (I am collecting all references to tropical fish that I can find, with the idea of someday buying myself one) and (5) an article to write for this paper.

Now. With these five tasks staring me in the face on Monday morning, it is little wonder that I go right back to bed as soon as I have had breakfast, in order to store up health and strength for the almost superhuman expenditure of energy that is to come. Mens sana in corpore sano is my motto.

As I lie in bed on Monday morning storing up strength, I make out a schedule. "What do I have to do first?" I ask myself. Well, those letters really should be answered and the pile of scientific magazines should be clipped. And here is where my secret process comes in. Instead of putting them first on the list, I put them last. I say: "First you must write that article for the newspaper." I sometimes go so far in this self-deception as to make out a list in pencil, with "No. 1. Newspaper article" underlined in red. (The underlining in red is rather difficult, as there is never a red pencil on the table beside the bed, unless I have taken one to bed with me on Sunday night.)

I then seat myself at my desk with my typewriter before me and sharpen five pencils. (The sharp pencils are for poking holes in the desk-blotter, and a pencil has to be pretty sharp to do that. I find that I can't get more than six holes out of one pencil.) Following this I say to myself "Now, old man! Get at this article!"

Gradually the scheme begins to work. My eye catches the pile of magazines, which I have artfully placed on a near-by table beforehand. I write my name and address at the top of the sheet of paper in the typewriter and then sink back. The magazines being within reach, I look to see if anyone is watching me and get one off the top of the pile. Hello, what's this! In the very first one is an article by Dr. William Beebe, illustrated by horrifying photographs! Pushing my chair away from my desk, I am soon hard at work clipping.

One of the interesting things about the Argyopelius, or "Silver Hatchet" fish, I find, is that it has eyes in its wrists. I would have been sufficiently surprised just to find out that a fish had wrists, but to learn that it has eyes in them is a discovery so astounding that I am hardly able to cut out the picture.

Thus, before the afternoon is half over, I have gone through the scientific magazines and have a neat pile of clippings (including one of a Viper Fish which I wish you could see. You would die laughing). Then it is back to the grind of the newspaper article.

This time I get as far as the title, which I write down with considerable satisfaction until I find that I have misspelled one word terribly, so that the whole sheet of paper has to come out and a fresh one be inserted. As I am doing this, my eye catches the basket of letters.

Now, if there is one thing that I hate to do (and there is, you may be sure) it is to write letters. But somehow, with the magazine article before me waiting to be done, I am seized with an epistolary fervor, and I slyly sneak the first of the unanswered letters out of the basket. I figure out in my mind that I will get more into the swing of writing the article if I practice on a few letters.

This first one, anyway, I really must answer. True, it is from a friend in Antwerp asking me to look him up when I am in Europe in the summer of 1929, so he can't actually be watching the incoming boats for an answer, but I owe something to politeness after all. So instead of putting a fresh sheet of copy-paper into the typewriter, I slip in one of my handsome bits of personal stationery and dash off a note to my friend in Antwerp. Then, being well in the letter-writing mood, I clean up the entire batch.

I feel a little guilty about the article, but the pile of freshly stamped envelopes and the bundle of clippings on tropical fish do much to salve my conscience. Tomorrow I will do the article, and no fooling this time.

When tomorrow comes I am up with one of the older and more sluggish larks. A fresh sheet of copy-paper in the machine, and my name and address neatly printed at the top, and all before eleven A.M.! "A human dynamo" is the name I think up for myself. I have decided to write something about snake-charming and am already more than satisfied with the title "These Snake-Charming People." But, in order to write about snake-charming, one has to know a little about its history, and where should one go to find history but to a book? Maybe in that pile of books in the corner is one on snake-charming!

So, with a perfectly clear conscience, I leave my desk for a few minutes and begin glancing over the titles. Of course, it is difficult to find any book, much less one on snake-charming, in a pile which has been standing in the corner for weeks. What really is needed is for them to be on a shelf where their titles will be visible at a glance. And there is the shelf, standing beside the pile of books! It seems almost like a divine command: "If you want to finish that article, first put up the shelf and arrange the books on it!" Nothing could be clearer or more logical.

In order to put up the shelf, the laws of physics have decreed that there must be nails, a hammer and some sort of brackets. You can't just wet a shelf with your tongue and stick it up. And, as there are no nails or brackets in the house, the next thing to do is to put on my hat and go out to buy them. Much as it disturbs me to put off the actual start of the article, I feel that I am doing only what is in the line of duty. As I put on my hat, I realize to my chagrin that I need a hair-cut badly. I can kill two birds with one stone, and stop in at the barber's on the way back. I will feel all the more like writing after a turn in the fresh air. Any doctor would tell me that.

So in a few hours I return, spick and span and smelling of lilac, bearing nails, brackets, the evening papers and some crackers and peanut butter. Then it's ho! for a quick snack and a glance through the papers (there might be something in them which would alter what I was going to write about snake-charming) and in no time at all the shelf is up, slightly crooked but up, and the books are arranged in a neat row. There does not happen to be one on snake-charming, but there is a very interesting one containing some Hogarth prints which will bear closer inspection.

And so, you see, in two days I have done four of the things I had to do, simply by making believe that it was the fifth that I must do. And the next day, I fix up something else, like taking down the bookshelf and putting it somewhere else, that I have to do, and then I get the fifth one done.

The only trouble is that, at this rate, I will soon run out of things to do, and will be forced to get at my newspaper articles the first thing Monday morning.


Guess when this was written.

Answer: 1949

Friday, July 27, 2007

Laundry Room Girl

Classic reactions all around:

Saturday, June 30, 2007

DI gets Navy Cross: The Second Highest Military Award

Watch how the General lingers when he pins it on. Shows you how much reverence that medal produces.

Thursday, June 28, 2007


Monday, June 25, 2007

Gay Spidey Dances Just For You

Take a look at this and get past the total gayness of Spiderman and test something out for me. My brother told me that no matter what song you play to this, he dances to it. I tried it to "Lady Lumps" "Sexy Back" and "London Bridge" with hilarious results.

Try it to your music and let me know if it works.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

So Stupid It's Funny

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Dramatic Look Hilarity

Indescribable Loserness