OK, So Here's The Deal...

A Marine Major, Running Fool, and All-Around Smart-Ass.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I See Dead Animals...And Talk To Them, Part 2

OK, here is what I was talking about. I saw a lot dead animals on my run. Mostly possums and I don't think they were playing.

I just looked at it and really didn't feel all that bad. My reaction was "Dumb bastard." Does this make me callous?

Who asked you?

All I really thought about was the last moment when the little retard was flailing back and forth trying to decide which way to go until **splack**, suddenly its spleen is being forced out its ass.

Of all the hundreds of square miles of woods, it picks the only time available to get hit. I mean what a combination of forces must conspire for that little dumbass to be right on that comparatively narrow strip of road at the right time when a car happens to be coming by. and then most people will swerve, at least a little, to avoid hitting it so it really had to try hard to get under that wheel.

But this doesn't even compare to what I saw in California a couple of weeks ago. I saw the Grand Pubah of all dumbass roadkill. Open freakin' desert, literally as far as the eye can see. In all directions. And maybe an average of 1 car every few hours!!!

So the little moron had to wait! Time it just right and somehow overcome the overwhelming odds that would place a lone car out in the middle of the desert at any time other than what it would take to get hit. I mean, think about it. It could have chosen to be ANYWHERE in the hundreds and hundreds of square miles but it had to choose that little piece of pavement at one of the sliver-thin time slots when a car would be coming by.

"OK, I'll cross... waiting, waiting, waiting... what's that in the distance? I should wait...waiting, waiting, waiting... don't go... don't decide to go...getting closer... must overcome urge to go... waiting... FUCK IT, I'M GOING!! "


Animals are dumbasses.

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