The Worst

What is the worst household duty at my house?

Is it cleaning the toilets?

Even though I don't do it, I'd have to say "no."

Scrubbing the tub?

I do this sporadically (the wife filling in the gaps) but still, I have to go with "no" on this one too.

It HAS to be emptying the shit bucket. We have a 60 lb dog and we pride ourselves on keeping the backyard turd-free by scooping and putting the little (big) butt-bars in a small trash can n the corner of the yard. It has a rotating lid so we don't actually have to touch the damn thing but when it fills up, we have to empty it.

And since this is more disgusting than I can adequately describe, this little duty is put off until the bucket overfloweth. To make matters worse, rain gets in the bucket so you have this primordial soup of the nastiest matter imaginable. I mean it's rancid as rancid gets. Old, soaking dog shit.

So when I have to deal with this little bundle of joy, it weighs about 100 lbs, straining the strength of the trashbag that contains it. And if that plastic breaks, the aftermath would be nothing short of toxic. I think proper authorities would have to be called in.

Tonight I had to empty it and I decided to go Commando: no gloves.

My hands are now bleeding from the scrub-o-rama afterwards.

I'm also dry heaving just thinking about the contents.