OK, So Here's The Deal...

A Marine Major, Running Fool, and All-Around Smart-Ass.

Friday, December 16, 2005

100 Random Facts About Me

1. I showed interest in computers as early as 1980 but my step-father supported this by giving me a stack of tech manuals and telling me to have at it. I retain a lot of animosity about that now.

2. I have one older brother who I keep in touch with and two younger half-sisters I really don’t.

3. I have no fears of any kind of bug. I’ve only been stung by one bee because I stepped on it by a pool in Hawaii.

4. It drives me nuts to have any foreign substance on my hands.

5. I never held any leadership positions in Marine Corps bootcamp.

6. I was one of the most hated lieutenants at TBS for various reasons.

7. I detest seafood in any form.

8. Sarah McLachlan is my favorite artist.

9. My first kiss was in 6th grade and Susan Shuck instigated it.

10. Given the opportunity, I would nap 1 ½ hours every day regardless of the amount of sleep at night.

11. My body is very sensitive to imbalances: cheap drunk, dizzy blood donations

12. I have one tattoo: a bulldog with a DI cover and the letters USMC under it. It’s on my right shoulder.

13. I’ve been put under only once in my life: appendicitis in 2000.

14. I have run 13 marathons and two 50-mile ultras since my first marathon in 2000. (not related to #13).

15. I have never vomited, took an IV, DORed, or fainted during or after a race.

16. I am aware that #15 could all happen in one race.

17. My favorite movie is Braveheart. Gladiator is a close second.

18. I have serious hero worship issues concerning Drill Instructors.

19. My only regret in my Marine Corps career is that I was not a DI.

20. I lived on my own during my entire senior year of high school with no car.

21. I married my high school sweetheart when I was 19 and she was 18. We are still married.

22. I’ve placed an incalculable number of kisses upon both my children’s heads and continue to do so into their teen years.

23. I set my alarm clock 27 minutes before I get up so I can hit the snooze button 3 times.

24. I have a very soft spot for cute little girls, in a fatherly way and not a creepy way.

25. As a kid, I was very self-conscious that I was skinny and had skinny hairy legs.

26. Both my grandfathers were Army Drill Sergeants.

27. My father had me and my brother in order to avoid the draft and Vietnam.

28. I gave my future wife a gold necklace for Valentine’s Day a week after we met.

29. My son was born 5 years to the day after my wife and I met.

30. My facial hair pattern includes porkchops, goatee, and upper lip but if I let it grow, it wouldn’t be pretty.

31. I can’t sleep unless I’m laying all the way down.

32. I have absolutely no talent when it comes to fixing things. This is due to my short temper and high frustration level.

33. I was on one Little League baseball team and one football team my entire childhood (once each).

34. I was the Oklahoma Free-Throw Champion in 1981, hitting 19 out of 20 to beat a kid who had hit 18 out of 20 before me. I missed my sixth attempt.

35. I got a t-shirt for my troubles and didn’t make the school basketball team; the only time I ever tried out.

36. In 10th grade, my former best friend hit me in the face after we got off the bus because he heard I was talking shit about him. I walked away because I was scared he would beat me up. I never quite recovered from that moment of cowardice.

37. I’ve had two step-fathers and two step-mothers. I’ve lived with both step-fathers and only one of the step-mothers.

38. My first step-father abused me and my brother without my mother’s knowledge.

39. I would attack him if I saw him and might even come close to killing him if I saw him today. There would be no “might” for my brother.

40. I cannot tolerate people chewing ice in my presence.

41. I remember asking my father if I could go with him when he left our family, unaware he was leaving for good. I think I was 2 or 3.

42. In the first Gulf War, I spent many nights wrapped in a sleeping bag with only my face and hands sticking out, playing Tetris and listening to the field radio waiting for an attack. I was the night shift Corporal of the Guard.

43. I used to want to skydive one day. Now, you couldn’t force me. I’ve become deathly afraid of heights as an adult.

44. I clip my fingernails and toenails so short they often bleed.

45. I almost quit OCS and asked to drop out of the commissioning program. The Sergeant Instructors talked me down.

46. My first 4 admin chiefs left much to be desired. I fired one on the spot. The fifth one is still the best admin guru I ever met.

47. Not knowing better, I had my dress blue PFC chevrons sewed on to my Service “A” uniform after bootcamp.

48. Sometimes I don’t start projects because I know I will obsess over it, neglecting sleep, family, food, exercise, and everything else in my life.

49. I rarely prepare for public speaking and have no fear when doing so.

50. I am prejudice towards fat people and homosexuals for very different reasons.

51. My knees pop loudly when I squat and my jaw cracks when open my mouth wide.

52. I get lost every time I go anywhere new. And this infuriates me.

53. I’ve been a DJ for a club and have read the news on TV once.

54. I like to sleep in the cold with pajamas and lots of blankets.

55. I was once sliced on the eyebrow with a machete when I was a kid hiding in the neighbor’s bushes. My mom thought my eye was done until they cleaned it up.

56. I’ve broken only one finger: my pinky twice. Once punching my brother in the head in 6th grade and once playing full-on football for 1st Tank Battalion at age 30.

57. I’ve only failed one class in my life: calculus in 12th grade.

58. My mother was a beauty queen. My father was a brawler.

59. I write better than I talk.

60. As a kid, we were so poor that I used to eat plain sugar or Jello powder as a snack.

61. I only snore when I’m extremely tired.

62. My brother and I share a deep sentimentality and sense of humor.

63. Although my brother made straight D’s and I straight A’s in high school, I always considered him more common-sense smart than me. This despite my master’s degree in IT.

64. I’ve nightmared for years that I’m out of the Corps without knowing what to do next.

65. In junior high, I had an very realistic, apocalyptic dream involving finding a girl in my class as we wandered the Hellscape. I didn’t know that girl but I always felt different about her after that point and she never knew.

66. My first day in 8th grade I was new at the school and was almost dropped to my knees by a look from a very shy girl with the spookiest blue eyes I ever saw. Her name was Eileen and I can still vividly remember that moment.

67. I had 7 girlfriends that year and Eileen was not one of them. They all broke up with me because I was too shy.

68. In 10th grade I was nailed in the forehead by a soccer ball and was so embarrassed, I faked unconsciousness. It got worse when the ambulance came and I maintained the rouse until I got to the hospital.

69. In 7th grade a found a packet of lunch tickets and got caught using one a month later. I lied and said I bought it from an unknown student.

70. The only time I ever smoked cigarettes was a few weeks as a teen and when I was in Saudi. I had my last one on the tarmac coming home.

71. I am a reckless driver but I’ve only been in one accident which was minor and not my fault.

72. I’ve never been arrested.

73. I’ve been in one major and three minor earthquakes in my life. Each time I was scared to the point of hysteria.

74. I’ve seen one tornado in my life.

75. I’ve only seen two dead people in my life. A great-uncle and my grandfather.

76. My lowest point of depression to date was when Karen Jones broke up with me in high school.

77. I am scared to die.

78. I saw Wolfman Jack and Leonard Nimoy at a car show when I was a kid. I was thrilled.

79. In 1986, I saw Michael Jackson in concert in Canada.

80. I have a lot of gray hair and it doesn’t bother me.

81. I eat a lot of cucumbers. Peeled, cut into disks with salt.

82. I have an aversion to watching cash transactions. I walk off when my wife pays for anything.

83. I maximize the use of every amenity hotels have to offer. I use all the towels every day.

84. I’ve had my head shaved twice in my life. Bootcamp and OCS. I have an ugly head.

85. I believe that I will be wealthy some day. Like REALLY wealthy.

86. In my military career, all I ever wanted to be was a Sergeant and a Captain. I’ve been both.

87. I’m not interested in military history or firearms.

88. I have unusually small wrists and weak ankles.

89. I still have to mentally convert civilian time to military time in my head. Especially past 8:00 PM.

90. I use mousse, hairspray, and a hair dryer every day.

91. I’m constantly amazed that my wife is so extraordinary in so many areas.

92. I consistently fail to let her know that.

93. I want to teach at a University-level one day.

94. I want to write a book one day.

95. I’ve only read two books more than once: Sein Language and Replay.

96. I’ve never had braces, glasses, or a cast.

97. I use 4 Q-Tips after every shower. Two for each ear.

98. I could never dance like no one is watching. Ever.

99. I have a deep hatred for marijuana and all other illicit drugs.

100. I’m very concerned how my children will perceive me when they are adults.

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