OK, So Here's The Deal...

A Marine Major, Running Fool, and All-Around Smart-Ass.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Chris Chronicles, Continued

I have to pass on this story because it is SOOOOO my brother. Sorry Chris, but I’ll try to be as PC as I can but this story must be told.

My brother is single so when he makes his yearly trek down to Arizona for Mariner Spring Training, it is a well-deserved good time of drinking, partying, and general debauchery. Someone has to keep this flame alive and by God, Chris is doing his best year after year.

He was down there last week and like a good single man keeping the dream alive, he was at a bar with his friend, drinking to the loud music and looking for a female companion to share the general celebration of the night.

Kudos to my brother that he started talking to a fine young thing who seemed as interested in him as he was in her. After some time of getting to know each other (1/2 hour, tops) she makes HER move and invites HIM to HER hotel.

My brother, never passing an opportunity to … spend some quality time with a fine upstanding young lady, follows her to the front of the club and wonders how life could get any better.

Then the Grose blood makes its appearance.

Getting to the front of the club, she walks through a very ornate door which, as he described it, was a funky little affair with a weird design of different sized holes carved into the wood.

As he gets to the door, he sticks his hand out to push it open and somehow, his finger slides into one of the holes. When he tried to pull it out, it was like a Chinese finger puzzle; it wouldn’t let go. He claims it was something akin to his hand passing through a micro-blackhole and shrinking in size for the split second it took for his finger to pass through the hole. Just unexplainable.

So he’s standing there with his finger stuck in the door and he sees his young maiden walking out to the parking lot but two more things conspire against him.

First, the music was so loud that she could not hear him.

Second, it doesn’t matter because he had no idea what her name was.

So she walked out, oblivious that he was stuck in the door behind her.

It took the bouncers about 15 minutes to find a screwdriver and get him out of it and by that time, Chris ran out into the parking lot but she was gone.

She probably thought he ditched her and took off.

He returned to that bar every night he was there but she never showed up again.

And of course, she (in his words) looked like a Maxim model and you know what? I don’t doubt it.

See the blood that running through my veins, people?

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  • At 4:06 PM, Blogger Laura said…

    Divine intervention. She was probably a MAN.

  • At 7:35 AM, Blogger Killjoy said…

    Now THAT'S funny!

  • At 4:45 PM, Anonymous Ghostrider said…

    That has GOT to sting, oddly enough i've had a similar scenario happen to me twice except it was my whole foot in a small getter type thing, and a shirt and a car door. It was an expensive shirt, otherwise I would've save F&%* itand went about my merry way with watever her name was.

  • At 8:44 AM, Anonymous Jennifer said…

    Another one for the "that'd only happen to Chris" files. I wish he would have found her because I the follow up story would have been even better.
    "No SERIOUSLY, I DID get my finger stuck in the door....BELIEVE ME!"
    The 'ol "finger stuck in door routine. We've heard it all ladies.

  • At 4:23 PM, Blogger Viper said…

    Ghost, that is odd. You gave up a girl for a shirt. That's just plain weird.

  • At 4:23 PM, Blogger Viper said…

    Jennifer, I never thought of that. Wow, that would have been a tough explanation.

  • At 5:06 PM, Blogger Viper said…

    Laura, green is not a good color on you.

  • At 12:07 AM, Blogger Ghostrider said…

    It was a REALLY nice shirt my uncle got for me in Oki just b4 his unit deployed to Afghan right after 9/11, so for once in my life an article of clothing mattered more to me than a piece of "pie". I still have that shirt with not a thread out of place.

  • At 5:35 AM, Blogger Kim said…

    That is funny $hit. He didn't even know her name...classic.

  • At 7:29 AM, Anonymous Ray Young said…


    (nuf said)

  • At 5:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Laura: All I can say is "Trust me, she wasn't a man" Sidenote: I was able to check that in the bar if you catch my drift

    Red: I knew that YOU would enjoy another situation that kicked a Grose man in the balls

    Jennifer: I swear that that is what happened. Don't get this close to paradise and blame it on a finger stuck in the door story.

    Kim: In all fairness, she probably didn't know my name either.

    Spring training is like Spring Break or Vegas for older adults...what happens in Phoenix, stays in Phoenix. A lot of people trying to get there groove on...names are not always important (or phone #'s) just two ships that pass in the night....blah blah blah
    Had a lot of fun watching baseball and funnin in the sun as well. ( I don't JUST go down there to get some tail)

    Chris Grose

  • At 5:17 AM, Blogger Laura said…

    Ha...Chris!! I was so going to rip you on that, but your brother's blog is not the place. I'll catch you on IM.

  • At 4:51 PM, Blogger Viper said…

    Chris, you don't have to explain yourself here. Man, you're livin' the dream for the rest of us!


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