Schmuckatelly's Last Day On Earth
posted by Viper @ 10/30/2006
5 comments
Monday, October 30, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
One Of The Reason I Love Being Mexican
Because you have gorgeous families.
These two are part of my extended family (grandmother was one of 13 and the branches go out from there).
They are the two grandchildren of one of those 13. Or is it great-grandchildren? I don't know but look at 'em. They belong on the cover of some Spanish edition fan magazine.
posted by Viper @ 10/22/2006
5 comments
Thursday, October 19, 2006
A Child's Last Day On Earth
This is why God makes kids cute. So you won't kill them when this happens.
posted by Viper @ 10/19/2006
0 comments
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Man oh man oh man...
Breathe, Viper. Steady now...
Man oh man oh man...
New album of Christmas songs coming out in two days (Oct 17)
And in case you dont know: http://www.grose.us/Sarah/index.htm
Breathe, Viper. Steady now...
Man oh man oh man...
New album of Christmas songs coming out in two days (Oct 17)
And in case you dont know: http://www.grose.us/Sarah/index.htm
posted by Viper @ 10/15/2006
10 comments
Sunday, October 08, 2006
I'm Her Favorite Uncle, Ya Know
My niece's first tooth has gone missing.
And here is what they are using to cash in.
And here is what they are using to cash in.
posted by Viper @ 10/08/2006
0 comments
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Rules For Marines
Most of these are so true, it hurts.
Rule 1: If you live in Eastern North Carolina and have a High and Tight haircut, you do not need to wear a shirt claiming you are a Marine or Sailor, everybody already fucking knows.
Rule 2: Don't have a high and tight, it doesn't look good on anybody.
Rule 3: Girls at the bar do not want to hear about how mean your Drill Instructors were.
Rule 4: Guys at the bar do not want to hear about how mean your Drill Instructors were.
Rule 5: If you are gay enough to wear an "OORAH" 2nd BN shirt out, don't start a fight in the club with the other faggot who wore his 3rd BN shirt, nobody cares, fagmo.
Rule 6: Wearing pieces of your uniform i.e. Boots, web belt, etc...with civvies doesn't look cool, and you should actually get your ass beaten for wearing them.
Rule 7: When going to the beach, for the love of Christ do not wear your dog tags, this is not Top Gun, it does not attract women.
Rule 8: Don't go in a group of 8 to the mall and strut around like badasses because here's what’s gonna happen:
A. You are all going to look retarded.
B. You are all going to end up buying cell phones that don't have coverage on base.
C. You are all going to do something that in the next 3 months is going to fuck your credit and get you in trouble financially.
Rule 9: The girl in Greenville who comes up to you and acts suprised and turned on when you tell her you are a Marine, has been with everybody else on Cherry Point/Camp Lejeune/New River Air Station, and just wants your money.
Rule 10: Girls do not want to go back to your SOI/MCT squadbays for late night fun. Nor do they want to hook up with you in a $25 hotel you and 9 other dudes rented for the night.
Rule 11: If you see some one of higher rank carrying their uniform out of the cleaners in town it is not necessary to say "OORAH SGT" or what ever fucking rank they are, and it makes you look even gayer.
Rule 12: Don't ever try to pull rank if you are about to get your ass kicked, that will make the ass kicker more angry and they will probably beat you harder.
Rule 13: If your buddy is lucky enough to start talking to a girl despite his "Devil Dog" shirt and stupid fucking haircut, DO NOT go up 15 seconds later and interrupt to ask if she has any hot friends for you and your other 2 douchebag buddies. (By the way it is a well know fact dumb jarheads travel in packs of 4)
Rule 14: Getting with a deployed Marines whore of a wife who is out there looking for whatever Marine she can find is NOT FUCKING COOL. Plus you are just getting sloppy 24ths on the last MCT Co. that rammed her.
Rule 15: MCMAP does not make you Chuck Norris, so shut your 103 lb ass up before you have to use your dental plan to the max.
Rule 16: Rank stickers above your Base Decal do not make you cool (especially if you are an E-4 or below, it's actually pretty gay.)
Rule 17: If you were dumb enough to buy a car from Liberty Motors take off the goddamned front license plate for Christ’s sake.
Rule 18: If you are going to get a moto tattoo, do not get SEMPER FI in 2 1/2" letters across your shoulder blades, it looks very tacky and gay.... especially if you are a chick.
Rule 19: Cheap backpacks and CD players, need I say more?
Rule 20: If you ever see another Jarhead in trouble, and he doesn't deserve it, help him out, it might be your ass that needs help some day.
Rule 21: Don't even think about putting those faggot ass earrings back in your ears while on liberty.
Rule 22: Civilians don't care about your rank. If some chick asks, she's probably a Marine's wifey or a gold digger.
Rule 1: If you live in Eastern North Carolina and have a High and Tight haircut, you do not need to wear a shirt claiming you are a Marine or Sailor, everybody already fucking knows.
Rule 2: Don't have a high and tight, it doesn't look good on anybody.
Rule 3: Girls at the bar do not want to hear about how mean your Drill Instructors were.
Rule 4: Guys at the bar do not want to hear about how mean your Drill Instructors were.
Rule 5: If you are gay enough to wear an "OORAH" 2nd BN shirt out, don't start a fight in the club with the other faggot who wore his 3rd BN shirt, nobody cares, fagmo.
Rule 6: Wearing pieces of your uniform i.e. Boots, web belt, etc...with civvies doesn't look cool, and you should actually get your ass beaten for wearing them.
Rule 7: When going to the beach, for the love of Christ do not wear your dog tags, this is not Top Gun, it does not attract women.
Rule 8: Don't go in a group of 8 to the mall and strut around like badasses because here's what’s gonna happen:
A. You are all going to look retarded.
B. You are all going to end up buying cell phones that don't have coverage on base.
C. You are all going to do something that in the next 3 months is going to fuck your credit and get you in trouble financially.
Rule 9: The girl in Greenville who comes up to you and acts suprised and turned on when you tell her you are a Marine, has been with everybody else on Cherry Point/Camp Lejeune/New River Air Station, and just wants your money.
Rule 10: Girls do not want to go back to your SOI/MCT squadbays for late night fun. Nor do they want to hook up with you in a $25 hotel you and 9 other dudes rented for the night.
Rule 11: If you see some one of higher rank carrying their uniform out of the cleaners in town it is not necessary to say "OORAH SGT" or what ever fucking rank they are, and it makes you look even gayer.
Rule 12: Don't ever try to pull rank if you are about to get your ass kicked, that will make the ass kicker more angry and they will probably beat you harder.
Rule 13: If your buddy is lucky enough to start talking to a girl despite his "Devil Dog" shirt and stupid fucking haircut, DO NOT go up 15 seconds later and interrupt to ask if she has any hot friends for you and your other 2 douchebag buddies. (By the way it is a well know fact dumb jarheads travel in packs of 4)
Rule 14: Getting with a deployed Marines whore of a wife who is out there looking for whatever Marine she can find is NOT FUCKING COOL. Plus you are just getting sloppy 24ths on the last MCT Co. that rammed her.
Rule 15: MCMAP does not make you Chuck Norris, so shut your 103 lb ass up before you have to use your dental plan to the max.
Rule 16: Rank stickers above your Base Decal do not make you cool (especially if you are an E-4 or below, it's actually pretty gay.)
Rule 17: If you were dumb enough to buy a car from Liberty Motors take off the goddamned front license plate for Christ’s sake.
Rule 18: If you are going to get a moto tattoo, do not get SEMPER FI in 2 1/2" letters across your shoulder blades, it looks very tacky and gay.... especially if you are a chick.
Rule 19: Cheap backpacks and CD players, need I say more?
Rule 20: If you ever see another Jarhead in trouble, and he doesn't deserve it, help him out, it might be your ass that needs help some day.
Rule 21: Don't even think about putting those faggot ass earrings back in your ears while on liberty.
Rule 22: Civilians don't care about your rank. If some chick asks, she's probably a Marine's wifey or a gold digger.
posted by Viper @ 10/07/2006
3 comments
Friday, October 06, 2006
These are the kinds of calls I get on the weekend
At the end of the night a Marine leaves a bar.
Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and slaps her in the face. Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks her over. He proceeds to kick her several times and when he's done he bends down to her and says, "Not as tough as a Marine, are you Batman?"
Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and slaps her in the face. Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks her over. He proceeds to kick her several times and when he's done he bends down to her and says, "Not as tough as a Marine, are you Batman?"
posted by Viper @ 10/06/2006
4 comments
Thursday, October 05, 2006
What my Daughter Sent Me When I Was Alone In San Diego
Hi Dad! I miss you a lot and wish you could be here! Everyone misses you. I just wanted to thank you for all the stuff you do for us. And thank you for going down to San Diego and working and letting us stay up here. I can't wait till I see you again. I love you! Good Luck with everything!
Your daughter,
Stephanie
posted by Viper @ 10/05/2006
0 comments
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Love IS Blind, Obviously
Wedding of the year....
Introducing the wedding party:
First, the handsome groomsmen and the fine looking groom (in red). Note groom's footwear.
Next, the lovely bridesmaids and the blushing bride
Last, the cute couple (note bride's footwear)
I guess this just proves that there is someone for everyone in this world! So, if you're looking, don't give up hope, especially if you live in Kentucky or West Virginia!
Introducing the wedding party:
First, the handsome groomsmen and the fine looking groom (in red). Note groom's footwear.
Next, the lovely bridesmaids and the blushing bride
Last, the cute couple (note bride's footwear)
I guess this just proves that there is someone for everyone in this world! So, if you're looking, don't give up hope, especially if you live in Kentucky or West Virginia!
posted by Viper @ 10/04/2006
14 comments
