OK, So Here's The Deal...

A Marine Major, Running Fool, and All-Around Smart-Ass.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Un-Chain me, Lovely Daughter

I sent this back to my 12-year-old daughter when she sent me a chain letter to "11 people who mean the most to you."


I love you so much but I don’t like to participate in these chain emails. I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I don’t want you to fall into the habit of sending these things out. The vast majority of people find these things annoying and are considered “junk mail.”

Junk mail is a big problem because just like any other system, the internet has a capacity, kind of like a pipeline. The more stuff that is sent through, the slower it gets because there is so much stuff being pushed through. So when people send this stuff, not only is it annoying but it clogs up the pipes of the internet which slows down everything from email to webpages.

Your single (or 11) email(s) might not seem to make much of a difference but when you think about all the people who might participate, you could see how these things create hundreds, maybe thousands of useless emails across the net.

Again, I love you and appreciate the thought. This is a good lesson for you to learn because everyone knows “that person” who sends them a lot of useless, annoying email to everyone they know. Make sure YOU are not that person for someone else.

Another benefit is that when you DO send something to a lot of people, they will take it seriously. If you send out every little thing, people will just roll their eyes and say “more crap from Stephanie.”

I have a three-way tie for #1 in my life and you are one of them.

-- Dad

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  • At 2:32 AM, Blogger Killjoy said…

    What a conincidence! I wrote this one just today...

    Dear Claire,

    You know, leaving me notes around the house telling me you love me is just really a waste of paper. I mean, I appreciate it and all, but when you look at the box of recycled junk mail we receive on a daily basis, you'll see just how much you fit in with wasting not only paper, but my time, too. (Let's not even get into what you're doing to our ENVIRONMENT!) And it's really annoying.

    I know you're growing and getting older and coming up to me to tell me how much I mean to you is getting more difficult, and I realize that by writing me a little note is just one way you know of to express your feelings, I just want you to know that I think it's junk mail and I hate junk mail!!! I also realize my time of being #1 in your life is coming to an end and pretty soon your best-friend-of-the-week or even a (gasp!) boyfriend will take my place of importance, just know that you will always be #1 in my life.

    I know I could just read the note and chuck it if I didn't want it, you'd never know the difference but, you see, that just takes too much of my valuable time and I have no real desire to protect you from the insensitive a-holes out in this cruel world - me being one of them.

    Anyway, I love you, but stop sending me trash! You're annoying me and wasting my time.

    Love and kisses,


  • At 9:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


  • At 10:48 PM, Blogger Viper said…


    Scary thing #1: I know you and I can't tell if you are being serious.

    Scary thing #2: I could see you being serious.

  • At 7:10 PM, Blogger Killjoy said…

    I was joking, doofus. No one would do that to their daughter but you!


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