My Kind Of Girl
posted by Viper @ 5/31/2007
2 comments
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Sobering
Diary of a Drunk Driver Release Date: November 29, 2006
If you do not read anything else this holiday, make sure you read this:
Diary of a Drunk Driver: I am a 46 year old Naval Officer stationed here at the Naval Medical Center San Diego. I have been on active duty for 27 years that included 16 years of service as enlisted. The following paragraphs lay out in detail a chronological chain of events that completely changed my life over the last year from Halloween 2005 to Halloween 2006. Please take a few minutes to read this diary and hopefully what happened to me will never happen to you:
A few points about myself I want to share before going into the details of my eventual arrest for Driving Under The Influence of Alcohol. I did not consume alcohol on a consistent basis. As a matter of fact, I only drank alcohol occasionally at home or occasional social gatherings. I am an avid long distance runner and have completed 3 marathons (Rock and Roll here in
On 29 October 2005 at about 20:45 I was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol on Interstate 8 at the
I was placed under arrest at the scene and transported to the San Diego County Jail. Don't believe what you see on TV where the high priced lawyer comes and gets you out 15 minutes later. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. You will be there for a minimum of 8 to 10 hours. You will be searched, fingerprinted, photographed and then placed in a cell 20 X 20 with 40 of Your Best Friends that you never want to see again. The only thing in this room is a toilet in the corner. After the 8 to 10 hours and processing was complete I was released. I walked out of the jail on the streets of
I had to attend a 3 months First Conviction Program at SDSU that included 12 1 hour classes each week for 12 weeks and 6 2 hour lectures for 6 weeks. I attended mandatory Mothers against Drunk Driving lecture in which 3 moms told the story of the loss of their children to drunk drivers. A very emotional and guilt ridden experience. I had to complete 10 days of community service picking up trash, cleaning parks, etc for the city. I had to hire an attorney to represent me and contact my insurance company. I went to court and received a substantial fine. The combined costs of this was:
First Conviction Program: $445
MADD: $25
Attorney: $1,700
Fine and Court Costs: $1,950
Total: $4,120
And I have even talked about the insurance. It does not matter who your insurance company is, they will cancel you and you will have to obtain a much less reputable insurance and much higher price. It will cost you thousands and thousands of dollars over the years.
Then the DMV, OH JOY. I lost my driver's license completely for 30 days and had a restricted license for 5 more months. And this was before I ever went to court. The DMV will revoke and suspend your license without a conviction. Driving is a privilege, not a right. Just being cited is justification. And then you have to pay to get it back. $195 is the cost.
I was selected for promotion to LCDR effective 1 February 2006. My promotion was withdrawn and I was removed from the promotion listing. I was processed for administrative separation and will retire involuntarily within the next 6 months. The reason I talk about this is because if I had not been arrested, I would have continued on active duty for 4 more years and reached a 30 year retirement. If I lived for 20 more years which is very reasonable, the loss of this LCDR pay at 30 years vice LT pay at 26 years will end up being approximately $600,000 over 20 years.
As you have noticed, I made a point of the monetary loss. The monetary loss PALES IN COMPARISON to the shame, emotional pain, grief and guilt that this will cause YOU, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR CO-WORKERS and just about every person you come in contact with. It can COMPLETELY DESTROY YOUR LIFE as you know it. It will have an adverse affect on EVERY FACET OF YOUR LIFE. I am just so thankful that I DID NOT KILL SOMEONE while driving under the influence of alcohol. I have only detailed the highlights (if you can call them that) of this experience. There are many more smaller painful points but they are too many too mention. My hope is that for those of you who take the time to read this you will not drink and drive. If my pain keeps just 1 of you from drinking and driving and even more if it saves one life then it was worth the pain.
Thank You.
posted by Viper @ 5/30/2007
2 comments
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Actual Snippet From An Email I received.
"Trying to find any pictures of me as a DI, former girlfriend dumped my platoon pictures and DI portrait in the Beaufort river, other girlfriend burned the rest."
Gotta love DIs.
posted by Viper @ 5/29/2007
1 comments
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Japanese Justice
Demands of Kidnapper & Japanese Release Negotiations
"I have 3 demands or I'll kill the boy!"
Negotiators assess the situation from next door.
Head Negotiator dispatched
Negotiations begin
Negotiations concluded
Everyone (almost everyone) goes home in time for dinner.
No muss, no fuss.
In this country, we would talk him out of it, spend 5 million giving him a fair trial, and pay his food and lodging for life. No wonder their cars are cheaper than ours.
"I have 3 demands or I'll kill the boy!"
Negotiators assess the situation from next door.
Head Negotiator dispatched
Negotiations begin
Negotiations concluded
Everyone (almost everyone) goes home in time for dinner.
No muss, no fuss.
In this country, we would talk him out of it, spend 5 million giving him a fair trial, and pay his food and lodging for life. No wonder their cars are cheaper than ours.
posted by Viper @ 5/26/2007
0 comments
Friday, May 25, 2007
U.S. Marine Saves Life
U.S. Marine Saves The Life of an Air Force Officer During Horse-Back Riding Mishap Sacramento, CA., May 17, 2007
Yet another unselfish act of heroism performed by a man wearing the Eagle, Globe and Anchor:
An Air Force Captain narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he decided to try horseback riding, even though he had no lessons or prior experience. He mounted the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately sprang into action. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the Captain began to slip from the saddle. In terror, he grabbed for the horse's mane, but could not get a firm grip. He tried to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he began to slide down the side of the horse anyway!
The horse galloped along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, losing his frail grip, the Captain attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot became entangled in the stirrup, and he was now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head struck against the ground over and over and over.
As his head was being battered against the ground and he was mere moments away from unconsciousness, to his great fortune a Marine Sergeant shopping at Target saw him and quickly unplugged the horse.
Yet another unselfish act of heroism performed by a man wearing the Eagle, Globe and Anchor:
An Air Force Captain narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he decided to try horseback riding, even though he had no lessons or prior experience. He mounted the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately sprang into action. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the Captain began to slip from the saddle. In terror, he grabbed for the horse's mane, but could not get a firm grip. He tried to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he began to slide down the side of the horse anyway!
The horse galloped along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, losing his frail grip, the Captain attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot became entangled in the stirrup, and he was now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head struck against the ground over and over and over.
As his head was being battered against the ground and he was mere moments away from unconsciousness, to his great fortune a Marine Sergeant shopping at Target saw him and quickly unplugged the horse.
posted by Viper @ 5/25/2007
4 comments
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Letter home from an Air Force Colonel/Doctor
I don't know if these are true, but I can tell you the Marine patients I've met would be like this.
-- Viper
---------------------------------
Dear Dad,
If I ever hear airmen griping and complaining, I jump into them pretty quickly, now. Most people over here have nothing to gripe about compared to Marines. Marines are different. They have a different outlook on life.
One Marine Private was here for several days because he was a lower priority evacuation patient. He insisted on coming to attention and displaying proper military courtesy every morning when I came through on rounds. He was in a great deal of pain, and it was a stressful to watch him work his way off the bed and onto his crutches. I told him he was excused and did not have to come to attention while he was a patient, and he informed me that he was a good Marine and would address "Air Force Colonels standing on my feet, Sir."
I had to turn away so he would not see the tear in my eye. He did not have "feet" because we amputated his right leg below the knee on the first night he came in.
I asked a Marine Lance Corporal if there was anything I could get him as I was making rounds one morning. He was an above the knee amputation after an IED blast, and he surprised me when he asked for a trigonometry book.
"You enjoy math do you?"
He replied, "Not particularly, Sir. I was never good at it, but I need to get good at it, now."
"Are you planning on going back to school?" I asked. "No sir, I am planning on shooting artillery. I will slow an infantry platoon down with just one good leg, but I am going to get good at math and learn how to shoot artillery".
I hope he does.
I had the sad duty of standing over a young Marine Sgt. when he recovered from anesthesia - despite our best efforts there was just no way to save his left arm, and it had to come off just below the elbow.
"Can I have my arm back, sir?" he asked.
"No, we had to cut it off, we cannot re-attach it." I said.
"But can I have my arm?" he asked again.
"You see, we had to cut it off."
He interrupted, "I know you had to cut it off, but I want it back. It must be in a bag or something, Sir."
"Why do you want it?" I asked.
"I am going to have it stuffed and use it as a club when I get back to my unit."
I must have looked shocked because he tried to comfort me, "Don't you worry now, Colonel. You did a fine job, and I hardly hurt at all; besides I scratch and shoot with my other hand anyway."
God Bless the Marines!
All Men Are Created Equal, Then Some Become MARINES
-- Viper
---------------------------------
Dear Dad,
If I ever hear airmen griping and complaining, I jump into them pretty quickly, now. Most people over here have nothing to gripe about compared to Marines. Marines are different. They have a different outlook on life.
One Marine Private was here for several days because he was a lower priority evacuation patient. He insisted on coming to attention and displaying proper military courtesy every morning when I came through on rounds. He was in a great deal of pain, and it was a stressful to watch him work his way off the bed and onto his crutches. I told him he was excused and did not have to come to attention while he was a patient, and he informed me that he was a good Marine and would address "Air Force Colonels standing on my feet, Sir."
I had to turn away so he would not see the tear in my eye. He did not have "feet" because we amputated his right leg below the knee on the first night he came in.
I asked a Marine Lance Corporal if there was anything I could get him as I was making rounds one morning. He was an above the knee amputation after an IED blast, and he surprised me when he asked for a trigonometry book.
"You enjoy math do you?"
He replied, "Not particularly, Sir. I was never good at it, but I need to get good at it, now."
"Are you planning on going back to school?" I asked. "No sir, I am planning on shooting artillery. I will slow an infantry platoon down with just one good leg, but I am going to get good at math and learn how to shoot artillery".
I hope he does.
I had the sad duty of standing over a young Marine Sgt. when he recovered from anesthesia - despite our best efforts there was just no way to save his left arm, and it had to come off just below the elbow.
"Can I have my arm back, sir?" he asked.
"No, we had to cut it off, we cannot re-attach it." I said.
"But can I have my arm?" he asked again.
"You see, we had to cut it off."
He interrupted, "I know you had to cut it off, but I want it back. It must be in a bag or something, Sir."
"Why do you want it?" I asked.
"I am going to have it stuffed and use it as a club when I get back to my unit."
I must have looked shocked because he tried to comfort me, "Don't you worry now, Colonel. You did a fine job, and I hardly hurt at all; besides I scratch and shoot with my other hand anyway."
God Bless the Marines!
All Men Are Created Equal, Then Some Become MARINES
posted by Viper @ 5/09/2007
0 comments
Yeah, one of THESE
1. What time did you get up this morning? 0533, 0542, 0551, 0600, 0609, 0618, 0627, and 0636 (I'm a big snooze bar guy).
2. Diamonds or pearls? Neither. Both chip my teeth.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Are We Done Yet with the kids. I'm so ashamed.
4. What is your favorite TV show? The Daily Show
5. What did you have for breakfast? Raisin Bran and the blood of puppies.
6. What is your middle name? Donald
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Sharon but that's really not fair to the other cousins.
8. What foods do you dislike? Fish (wretch!)
9. What are your favorite chips? I like Ponch but the other guy was a Marine so it's a toss up (Doritos)
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? You can't miss with high yield bonds. (OK, it would have to be Sarah McLachlan's Surfacing or anything else from that goddess)
11. What kind of car do you drive? 1998 Saturn (Uranus) or Truckasaurus or a 2006 Pilot.
12. Favorite sandwich? Any club but no onions, please.
13. What are characteristics you can't stand? Rudeness or undue pride
14. What are your favorite clothes? The King's new ones
15. If you could go anywhere on vacation? Here with a lot of books.
17. Where would you want to retire? San Diego but will probably be Seattle.
18. Favorite time of day? The moments between closing my book and actually falling asleep. Bliss!
19. Where were you born? Arkansas City, Kansas by the same doc who delivered my brother.. And father.
21. What is your favorite sport to watch? Women's Beach Volleyball but only for the sport.
22. Who do you think will not send this back? Every human NOT you.
23. Person you expect to send it back first? Can we get past this? I'm only sending it to you and you already sent it so, yeah.
24. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi hurts my nose when I snort it.
25. Beavers or ducks? This question is loaded with innuendo. Out of respect, I will stay real still and quiet..
26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night owl. My morning person is more like Charlie Manson crossed with Hitler.
27. Pedicure or manicure? Pedicure even though I hate the feeling. I need them for my running, believe it or not. A bad toenail can take you out of a race.
28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with anyone? I'm running a 50 mile ultra in a week and a half. Kinda nervous.
29. What did you want to be when you were little? Astronaut. And not the diaper-wearing kind. Oh, and Superman.
30. What is your best childhood memory? Going to Seattle for the summer with my dad.
31. Ever been to Africa? The band? No on either.
32. Ever been toilet papering? Just a few minutes ago. Must have been the big lunch.
33. Been in a car accident? Yep, as a teen. I was the passenger and all I got was bruises on my thighs. Very lucky.
34. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
35. Favorite restaurant? Fudruckers.
36. Favorite flower? The skunk on Bambi.
37. Favorite ice-cream? Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. OMG!!!!
38. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Butt.
39. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Technically since I killed the tester..
40. From whom did you get your last e-mail? Amazon.com. Fuckers are relentless.
41. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Borders, HELLO! Or Starbucks but that won't take long.
43. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? My mom but she doesn't have a computer so I'd really like to see that unfold.
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? That would be my wife.
45. What are you listening to right now? My Windows Media Player playlist on random. Dido's singing Life For Rent.
46. What is your favorite color? Black or white. Go figure.
47. How many tattoos do you have? One. Arm. Devil Dog with "USMC" under it. Unless you also count my slut stamp on my lower back.
48. How many are you sending this Email to? Let's see... add the column.. borrow a ten..carry the one... just you.
49. What time did you finish this e-mail? 6:49 PM but I will go back and read it before sending.
50. Favorite magazine? None that I feel comfortable admitting. Actually, Runner's World mainly for the nudity.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Neither. Both chip my teeth.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Are We Done Yet with the kids. I'm so ashamed.
4. What is your favorite TV show? The Daily Show
5. What did you have for breakfast? Raisin Bran and the blood of puppies.
6. What is your middle name? Donald
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Sharon but that's really not fair to the other cousins.
8. What foods do you dislike? Fish (wretch!)
9. What are your favorite chips? I like Ponch but the other guy was a Marine so it's a toss up (Doritos)
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? You can't miss with high yield bonds. (OK, it would have to be Sarah McLachlan's Surfacing or anything else from that goddess)
11. What kind of car do you drive? 1998 Saturn (Uranus) or Truckasaurus or a 2006 Pilot.
12. Favorite sandwich? Any club but no onions, please.
13. What are characteristics you can't stand? Rudeness or undue pride
14. What are your favorite clothes? The King's new ones
15. If you could go anywhere on vacation? Here with a lot of books.
17. Where would you want to retire? San Diego but will probably be Seattle.
18. Favorite time of day? The moments between closing my book and actually falling asleep. Bliss!
19. Where were you born? Arkansas City, Kansas by the same doc who delivered my brother.. And father.
21. What is your favorite sport to watch? Women's Beach Volleyball but only for the sport.
22. Who do you think will not send this back? Every human NOT you.
23. Person you expect to send it back first? Can we get past this? I'm only sending it to you and you already sent it so, yeah.
24. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi hurts my nose when I snort it.
25. Beavers or ducks? This question is loaded with innuendo. Out of respect, I will stay real still and quiet..
26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night owl. My morning person is more like Charlie Manson crossed with Hitler.
27. Pedicure or manicure? Pedicure even though I hate the feeling. I need them for my running, believe it or not. A bad toenail can take you out of a race.
28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with anyone? I'm running a 50 mile ultra in a week and a half. Kinda nervous.
29. What did you want to be when you were little? Astronaut. And not the diaper-wearing kind. Oh, and Superman.
30. What is your best childhood memory? Going to Seattle for the summer with my dad.
31. Ever been to Africa? The band? No on either.
32. Ever been toilet papering? Just a few minutes ago. Must have been the big lunch.
33. Been in a car accident? Yep, as a teen. I was the passenger and all I got was bruises on my thighs. Very lucky.
34. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
35. Favorite restaurant? Fudruckers.
36. Favorite flower? The skunk on Bambi.
37. Favorite ice-cream? Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. OMG!!!!
38. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Butt.
39. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Technically since I killed the tester..
40. From whom did you get your last e-mail? Amazon.com. Fuckers are relentless.
41. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Borders, HELLO! Or Starbucks but that won't take long.
43. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? My mom but she doesn't have a computer so I'd really like to see that unfold.
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? That would be my wife.
45. What are you listening to right now? My Windows Media Player playlist on random. Dido's singing Life For Rent.
46. What is your favorite color? Black or white. Go figure.
47. How many tattoos do you have? One. Arm. Devil Dog with "USMC" under it. Unless you also count my slut stamp on my lower back.
48. How many are you sending this Email to? Let's see... add the column.. borrow a ten..carry the one... just you.
49. What time did you finish this e-mail? 6:49 PM but I will go back and read it before sending.
50. Favorite magazine? None that I feel comfortable admitting. Actually, Runner's World mainly for the nudity.
posted by Viper @ 5/09/2007
2 comments
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Instant Death
Rich was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning Rich got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift, wrapped with ribbon in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Rich has been missing since Friday.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning Rich got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift, wrapped with ribbon in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Rich has been missing since Friday.
posted by Viper @ 5/02/2007
4 comments
