OK, So Here's The Deal...

A Marine Major, Running Fool, and All-Around Smart-Ass.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006


I ran across this tidbit I wrote after one of my marathons. Yes, I'm rehashing but it made me laugh:

Let’s get something straight right now. A marathon is 26 miles plus 2/10ths of a mile. No, just saying “26 miles” is not good enough. Listen to what I’m saying. A marathon is 26.2 miles. You can say it’s “26 point 2” or “26 and 2/10ths” or even the more mathematically acceptable “26 and 1/5th” but what you CAN’T say is just plain old 26 miles.

You think I’m splitting hairs? OK, pal, cram your happy ass into a pair of running shorts, shove your hooves into a pair of running shoes, and join me one Sunday while we trot 26 miles at my pace. At mile 26, we’ll have a discussion about the difference between 26.2 and 26. My guess is that you’ll discover a galactic difference between the two distances.

Similar thoughts were running through my fried brain at mile 25 when some unsuspecting spectator announced “Just a mile to go.”

If I would have had more strength than a newborn kitten at the time, I would have explained to this well-meaning cheerleader that she could pack it where the sun hopefully does not and will never shine.

You see, at this point, my normally understanding and tactful personality tends to wear thin in places and no euphoric sentimentalities arise in my interpersonal interactions. In other words, I’m a huge ass at mile 25.

But the fact remains that the very established distance of a marathon is 26.2 miles and don’t ever forget the .2. You might receive a reverse enema from a newborn kitten.

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  • At 6:28 AM, Anonymous Ray Young said…

    I would make comments on how I can run any distance you can run, but I have a bad feeling that you would expect me to run it all at once instead of in increments of the distance from my desk to the candy machine, spanned over an eight to ten year period. (26 point two miles is a long way to go and the candy machine is so close.)

    (Sorry, I haven't been abused much this week by anybody but family, and am statring to get the shakes. . .abuse away.)

  • At 8:37 AM, Blogger Viper said…

    Hey Ray, how bout yout sign up to lose a bunch of weight this year? Come on, it'll be fun. I'm going for 20 pounds myself.

    Tip: when you feel like a snack at home, eat it in front of a mirror without your shirt on.

  • At 10:01 AM, Blogger Killjoy said…

    What does a snack feel like?

  • At 1:56 PM, Blogger O! said…

    When I feel like a snack, I just assume I took too much "medication."

  • At 4:59 AM, Anonymous Ray Young said…

    I have already been committed. . .er. . .have already committed to my family to become a 1 car family, so that means 12 mile round trip each day on my bike for work.
    Its a start.
    Goal #2 Get through the shakes from potato chip withdrawl. Good thing I don't have a chocolate jones too, or I would be in a world of hurt.

  • At 9:34 AM, Blogger Viper said…

    Killjoy: it feels like a slap in the face. A HARD one.

    O: figures you'd take Killjoy's side.

    Ray: Wow, that's probably more exercise overall that I do each day!


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