I Dreamt About Paris Hilton

No, not like that. I couldn't afford the Lysol baths, even in Dreamland.

I dreamed that for some reason I was assigned to help her pack for a trip. She had a little cramped bedroom with too much stuff and she already had a big suitcase and a few more small ones. I told her it would be best if we put in the big red one (which was my big red one in real life, go ahead, analyze that) but when we opened up the huge case, there was already a bag in there taking up most of the room.

We bickered about what goes in first and I said she might not be able to take everything. She looked at me like I had just thrown up a mouthful of caviar.

When I moved the huge suitcase off the little bed (which I'm pretty sure was my daughter's), the entire bed moved and a cork board on the wall slid down the wall and fell flat on the floor with a loud slap.

I said "Good thing you weren't there or you'd be Flat Stanley."

I got a blank look from her. OK, flatter than normal.

"You do know who Flat Stanley is, don't you?"

Another blanker look.

And now for my great deadpan joke.

"You must have had a shitty childhood."

Of course I thought this was the funniest joke ever made. She smirked and I woke up.

Even in Dreamland I'm hilarious!!!