OK, So Here's The Deal...

A Marine Major, Running Fool, and All-Around Smart-Ass.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Dad Stays Crazy

Classic.

My dad calls my brother and leaves a voice mail to call him back. My brother then calls me to ask if Dad called me about anything so he knows what he’s getting into.

“Nope, haven’t heard from him. Maybe he wants to borrow $1000.”

So Chris calls him back and you know what was the big deal?

Dad couldn’t remember the name of the volleyball in the movie Cast Away.

Here is where genetics takes over.

First, this is something that I do all the time: get frustrated with a little piece of useless trivia until my life stops. Luckily I have Google and the rest of the internet to come to the rescue but my Luddite father has no such savior.

When Chris called him and my Dad told him what the problem was, Chris couldn’t immediately remember but in explaining the story, my Dad says, it his natural overdramatic way ala George Castanza’s father …

“… 10 SECONDS!!!! After I left you that voicemail, I remembered 10 SECONDS later that it was ‘Wilson’!!!”

And just as he said the “W” in “Wilson,” my brother remembered and simultaneously said the word aloud.

You see, it drove my dad nearly insane and then it temporarily drove my brother insane to the point that his ego couldn’t handle it if he didn’t think of it himself.

Then my dad goes on a rant….

“I had to go through the alphabet….” – this cracked me up because this is a ploy I always start with when I can’t remember something. I sound out the letters of the alphabet hoping it will trigger the forgotten nugget of knowledge.

“I couldn’t sleep half the night…” – yes, things like this bothers him to this degree.

He knew it was a name so he grabbed the local phonebook for the tiny little Kansas town he lives in. Flipping through, he found nothing and afterwards, he looked back to discover there were absolutely no “Wilsons” in the entire phonebook…. Which sent him on another rant…

“I KNOW there is a Wilson somewhere in this town. Why aren’t they listed in the phonebook?!!! Why??!!!!!”

In a final desperate attempt, he called the video store and…… it was closed.

Classic.

God, I see my future and it’s bleak.

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14 Comments:

  • At 7:40 AM, Anonymous Ray Young said…

    ". . . “I had to go through the alphabet….” – this cracked me up because this is a ploy I always start with when I can’t remember something. I sound out the letters of the alphabet hoping it will trigger the forgotten nugget of knowledge. . . ."

    Is this anything like; "Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday dear (a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j. . .J!!!!) Jason. Happy birthday to me."

     
  • At 8:37 AM, Blogger Viper said…

    Precisely.

    It works with anything and if I think a vowel sounds vaguely familiar I will then go through the vowels after it, sounding out each combo:

    Ja, Je, Ji, Jo, Ju...

    sometimes it works and sometimes, after a few tries, I give up on the Vowel Game.

     
  • At 9:05 AM, Anonymous mburwood said…

    Like your Blog I wish Mine was as
    good but I just Started. Semper Fi
    Capt. M E Burwood USAF.
    www.wolfpac550.blogspot.com

     
  • At 5:15 PM, Blogger Killjoy said…

    Burwood, that comment looks almost like spam. You're two clicks of a mouse from being deleted forever with starting out with "like your blog.." ;)

    Anyway, Jason, I had to stop a doctor's appointment because I couldn't rememeber the name of a restaurant that was next to Duff's that was next to Rothschilds in St. Louis. I had to phone a friend and it wasn't until the 4th ring that I remembered it was Kopperman's!

     
  • At 6:35 PM, Blogger Viper said…

    mburwood,

    I have to go with Killjoy on this one. The new comment etiquette dictates "Thou shant verbilize like spam else thy might find ye banneth."

    But you redeemed yourself with "Semper Fi."

    Ooh-rah.

     
  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger Viper said…

    Killjoy,

    The difference with the men in my family: we get ANGRY when we can't remember. Then when we do, we get ANGRY that we couldn't remember in the first place and that it took up a portion of our lives. There's no joy to be had.

     
  • At 7:51 AM, Anonymous Raymond Young said…

    Interesting side note: Two days ago my son walked and a few minutes later his mother found him just standing there like a child who is messing his pants. It turns out he had lost his skateboard and was processing in his mind where it could be. After a few minutes (of standing still) he finally put together that I had taken it and put it in my car. I didn't get home until two hours after the event occured, he just pieced together all the available data, such as the last place it was, the fact it is no longer there or anywhere else, the other changed variable was my car not being there. Finally he turns to his mothe and says "Its in daddy's car". After that it was a non-issue, and he just dropped it, applied no more attention to it at all.
    I think this was a very interesting incident, he just stood there and worked through the problem, just like you and Killjoy are talking about above.
    Ray

     
  • At 11:16 AM, Blogger Laura said…

    I'm laughing at the Costanza reference..

    SERENITY NOW!

    ~L.

     
  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger Viper said…

    See, in my family, the house would have got ripped apart.

     
  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger Viper said…

    Laura,

    It was almost like Fesitvus.

     
  • At 7:11 PM, Blogger Laura said…

    For the rest of us.
    ~L.

     
  • At 7:27 AM, Blogger Killjoy said…

    Lord, why did I ever e-introduce you two. The two biggest nerds I know...together at last.

     
  • At 3:56 PM, Blogger Viper said…

    Killjoy, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.

     
  • At 5:49 PM, Blogger Killjoy said…

    Ok, finally! Something funny comes from Viper.

     

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