Dad Stays Crazy

Classic.

My dad calls my brother and leaves a voice mail to call him back. My brother then calls me to ask if Dad called me about anything so he knows what he’s getting into.

“Nope, haven’t heard from him. Maybe he wants to borrow $1000.”

So Chris calls him back and you know what was the big deal?

Dad couldn’t remember the name of the volleyball in the movie Cast Away.

Here is where genetics takes over.

First, this is something that I do all the time: get frustrated with a little piece of useless trivia until my life stops. Luckily I have Google and the rest of the internet to come to the rescue but my Luddite father has no such savior.

When Chris called him and my Dad told him what the problem was, Chris couldn’t immediately remember but in explaining the story, my Dad says, it his natural overdramatic way ala George Castanza’s father …

“… 10 SECONDS!!!! After I left you that voicemail, I remembered 10 SECONDS later that it was ‘Wilson’!!!”

And just as he said the “W” in “Wilson,” my brother remembered and simultaneously said the word aloud.

You see, it drove my dad nearly insane and then it temporarily drove my brother insane to the point that his ego couldn’t handle it if he didn’t think of it himself.

Then my dad goes on a rant….

“I had to go through the alphabet….” – this cracked me up because this is a ploy I always start with when I can’t remember something. I sound out the letters of the alphabet hoping it will trigger the forgotten nugget of knowledge.

“I couldn’t sleep half the night…” – yes, things like this bothers him to this degree.

He knew it was a name so he grabbed the local phonebook for the tiny little Kansas town he lives in. Flipping through, he found nothing and afterwards, he looked back to discover there were absolutely no “Wilsons” in the entire phonebook…. Which sent him on another rant…

“I KNOW there is a Wilson somewhere in this town. Why aren’t they listed in the phonebook?!!! Why??!!!!!”

In a final desperate attempt, he called the video store and…… it was closed.

Classic.

God, I see my future and it’s bleak.