I Ran. The Tick Rode. I Hurt

Last night I decided that a 0400 wake up time was in order so I could go running. Once I stepped off at 0600, I further decided that 4 loops of 8 miles each was smart. I am not a smot man.

Everything was going fine and even my new iPod (newly dubbed "Giggy") was along for the ride, the weather was cool but getting less so every minute. The humidity was climbing, but I was drinking water and enjoying tunes.

It was at the start of the third loop that I was stopped by a guard in the middle of the road who told me I had to go back, the road was closed. Whew, I thought he was going to give me shit about wearing headphones.

But this created a problem because it was a 1/2 mile into the 3rd loop and I had to return to run it backwards. This, of course, pissed me off.

It was on halfway around the loop when a car stopped and two women who had seen me twice before (they were going the opposite way) and asked me just how far I was planning on going. I told them and then asked if the other side was open and they said it was.

I only made it through that third loop and decided that I liked living a bit too much to attempt the 4th. In fact, it kinda turned into a survival thing to even get back just under 2 hours (normal time: 1 hour 20 minutes). The three loops plus the little 1 mile bonus made it 25 miles.

When I lumbered home, I discovered a tick on my leg. I had to tweezer the little bastard off of me and he had the audacity not to let himself be crushed. So I threw him in the toilet, pissed on him, let him soak in it for the duration of my shower, and then took just a bit too much satisfaction in flushing him down to oblivion.

I then ate and tried to sleep but the combination of the neighbor's stereo and the intense pain in my legs decided I should get up and write a blog.

I do this why, again?

So my house

Man, if only...

Check this out. Oh, the possibilities.

Need investors to fund small high tech start-up company. No guarantees but have very promising new programs for computers. Have been working out of our garage. CEO is college drop out but seems bright.


Had you invested $1,000.00 in 1978 you would have over $50 million today. WELL YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE.

Happy Birthday, Gramps!!

This really sucks but morbidly amusing. The guy lives to be 100 and then...

"Zetterlund had been supposed to celebrate his birthday with a helicopter ride to the Stockholm archipelago together with his son, grandson and 7-year-old great-grandson, police said. But the helicopter crashed after its rotor blades clipped a tree and a lamp post as it was taking off."

The guy gets to 100 and you know there had to be trepidation about loading his ass into a helo. And then **thwap!"

Bummer.

I'm Back (Again)

I know, I know, you'd think I've been busy because of my blog sabbatical. Well, stop thinking. You're wrong and honestly, it's a little embarrassing to see you in such a state.

Here are some topics that I should have covered over the last few weeks (in no particular order):

- I got an iPod mini and all the various storyettes that go along with it
- Strongbad ("Can I call you Fhqwhgads? Look, Fhqwhgads ...")
- I've been infected by a computer virus that has taken up two days. I might have to format!
- I finished season one of 24 and am on season two. I think I AM Jack Bauer!!!
- I got a new surround sound system for my big screen TV and it makes the house shiver.
- I had a sudden "books about books" obsession and ordered 4 of them
- I've been looking into tackling The Iliad.
- I will be leaving next Tuesday for vacation to Seattle. Gone almost a month!!!!

Let The Over-Analyzation Begin!

I just couldn't call myself a blogger if I didn't make mention of the Michael Jackson verdict.

I almost feel stupid because I know that every schmuck with a keyboard is jumping onto this bandwagon. But they will revoke my blogging license if I don't say something.

First, I don't really care about the entire thing. Did he do it? Maybe. Was justice served? I don't know. Did he get acquitted? Yep. So he's free. Free to go molest an entire new generation of young boys, or at least be accused of doing so.

What bothers me more is the media frenzy. Now that's some sick shit! We all will be subjected to weeks of analysis, debate, conjecture, and repetitive reactions until the turnip has finally given up the blood. Brace yourselves, folks.

And why do they do this? Because enough of the population will soak it up, will hang on every morsel of coverage and then piss and moan about "The Circus."

And yes, I know I am adding to this and I'm disgusted with myself. Its like that old argument about quantum physics: you cannot know both position and speed because observing both would alter the measurements.

So I will leave it at that. I'll just wait for it to die down and try to ignore the magazines who have just been guaranteed a year's worth of diarrhea splatter for their rags.

(Notice I didn't succumb to witty references to Thriller, Man In the Mirror, or even Beat It?)

Shake It Baby, Shake It Baby, Shake It Baby, Shake It

I got this report from Chris, a long time blog buddy. I used to live in 29 Palms which is near Palm Springs:

PALM SPRINGS, Calif. - A moderate earthquake shook most of Southern California early Sunday, rattling nerves along with homes and businesses. There were no immediate reports of any injuries or damage, authorities said.

The magnitude-5.5 quake struck about 8:40 a.m. and was centered 20 miles south of Palm Springs, according to a preliminary report by the
U.S. Geological Survey.

Nadege Gelayen, assistant manager of Cafe des Beaux-Arts, a restaurant in nearby Palm Desert, said the quake lasted six to seven seconds and shook doors and plates.

"Nothing was broken. But it was pretty scary. It was a big one," Gelayen said.

Charlotte Callahan, who owns the Calla Lily Inn in Palm Springs, said the quake had a rolling sensation that startled some out-of-town guests.

I walked outside and we did have some guests outside, talking about the quake," she said.

"They said, 'I didn't know you had those here!'"

The quake was felt as far west as Los Angeles and as far south as San Diego, 75 miles southwest of Palm Springs.

A dispatcher with the Riverside County Sheriff's Department said she received dozens of calls about the quake but hadn't received any word about injuries or damage. In Los Angeles County, there also were no reports of damage.

---

For my experience with a desert earthquake, look at this.

Saddest Man On The Planet

Well, folks, it's over. Last night Iron Mike once again and maybe for the final time, got his ass handed to him by a no name slug who found Mike to be even less pitiful than himself.

Years ago, I remember "hearing" about the Tyson fights but since I never had the means to pay to "see" them, all I could do is marvel at the highlight films. And granted, back then he was one bad mamba-jamba. You've seen the footage; fools being knocked out cold before they even hit the mat, collapsing all gangly and ugly as their lifeless bodies crumpled. Tyson was a wrecking machine to be feared and praised for his raw viciousness.

But now... oh, Mike. It is sad, really, to see. And I think the best summation of his troubles is the poll I saw on the Sports Illustrated webpage. It went something like this:

Mike Tyson ceased to be "Iron Mike" once he ...

1. married Robin Givens
2. lost to Buster Douglass
3. did three years in jail
4. bit off Holyfield's ear
5. lost to Kevin McBride

Too bad they didn't have "all the above."

The Race

Marathon tagline I didn't know until I got there: Conquer The Mountain!

What? Conquer the what? I don't want to do ANYTHING with a mountain, much less "conquer" it!

It was in the low 60s and overcast. There will be no pics because I failed to get a disposable camera so you'll have to trust me.

The start was fine and wound around the small town, out onto a highway in the wrong direction out to a point, then turning around to head toward Coudersport.

I was doing fine and didn't mind the fact that it was a slight upgrade. At mile 8 another runner informed me that the course will start to go down at mile 17.

What?!

Yes, the course was a steady climb for 17 miles and that last mile was almost vertical. In fact, it was Denten Mountain which happens to be a ski resort.

I hit the halfway point at 1:53 which put me well into the range of a sub-4 hour marathon. I thought going downhill the last half would offset the higher miles trouble and I could at least do the same split and get under 4.

Mile 17 was no joke. Straight up and nasty.

Up and over I picked up speed and was doing somewhere between 7 and 8 minute miles. But at around mile 22, reality set in and life got real bad. There was even a few more little hills that seemed like big hills. I would have had to clock six 9-minute miles in a row to crack 4 hours so I didn't worry about it.

I sprinted in the last mile and ended up with 4:07:11.

Quick overview of how it went

I got out of work and on the road late so didn't get into town until 0100!!!

Why? Because I was an hour late out of work, hit horrendous traffic in DC, stopped to get a pizza in a little town and that took a whole hour, and I got into the hills of Pennsylvania in the dark and fog. Going up, over, and around twisty, foggy mountain roads in the dark cost me a lot of time and took years off my life.

I got up at 0530 (after setting but not turning on the main alarm. Thank God for secondary watch alarms!!!) and made it to the bus by 0645.

Pre-marathon Food Plan:

1 slice of cold pizza
1 banana
1 small cuppette of yogurt
1 plain Gu

Heading North

I'm leaving today to drive to Coudersport, PA for the God's Country marathon tomorrow. I was going to leave early but I had to give a brief at 1300 so now I won't be driving in until about 10:00 PM, getting in my motel room, and up early for the run tomorrow.

Not the best dovetail into a marathon but these things cannot be helped sometimes.

Am I ready?

Well, I could have run more since my last marathon. I could have eaten better. I COULDN'T have enjoyed more sleep though. I don't know, I had run minimally for two weeks and then last Sunday had a great 16 mile run. So hopefully the old body is ready for it.

Come Off It Neal

Neal Armstrong is all pissed off because his barber sold some of his hair clippings for $3000. When I first read this, yeah, it was unsat. I mean, come on, how cheesy is selling someone's cut hair, not to mention how scary is it that someone would buy it?

But then I got to thinking. Neal's being an ass. Not about the hair thing, about the whole celebrity thing. He rarely grants interviews and shuns any fame he gets for what he did. I agree that some people shamelessly hang on to their celebrity and use it for all it's worth, and then some.

But he was the first freakin' man on the moon!!! Of all the billions and billions of people that have ever existed, he was the FIRST to set foot n a foreign body. And if you are that person, I'm sorry but you are going to be famous and known for all time. When you accepted the mission, you should have taken into account that you would forever be enshrined in the human consciousness as one of the most famous people who ever lived. It's human nature.

He took the mission. And now he denies the public their hero.

This really pisses me off. Step up, Neal. The public deserves their hero and opportunity to see a piece of living EARTH history. No other generation will be able to say they shook the hand of the first human being that ever walked on the moon and it's almost tragic to think that so many people were denied just because you refused to grant them such a magnificent gift.